you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
