Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
