Texts From Last Night

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  (737): View more from Texas

  You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?

  (1-737): View more from Texas

  That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there

  (737): View more from Texas

  It's my parent's restaurant

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  (737): You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot? (1-737): That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there (737): It's my parent's restaurant http://tfl.nu/0xzo
  Replies (8) Good night (1060) Bad night (2695)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  no

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  (616): You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls. (248): no http://tfl.nu/la9c
  Replies (21) Good night (916) Bad night (1670)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.

  (1-810): View more from Michigan

  nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.

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  (810): i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand. (1-810): nice, that's exactly what jesus would do. http://tfl.nu/jen7
  Replies (19) Good night (4223) Bad night (647)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.

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  (812): Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA. http://tfl.nu/7ezh
  Replies (4) Good night (651) Bad night (1477)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.

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  (204): you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested. http://tfl.nu/msf1
  Replies (13) Good night (5543) Bad night (981)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.

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  (859): let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break. http://tfl.nu/x35d
  Replies (23) Good night (5088) Bad night (889)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.

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  (203): She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers. http://tfl.nu/qfx8
  Replies (25) Good night (4686) Bad night (1001)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone

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  (760): If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone http://tfl.nu/69r6
  Replies (20) Good night (8093) Bad night (1170)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.

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  (773): Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/vvjh
  Replies (11) Good night (1471) Bad night (1007)
• Favorite

  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult

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  (780): Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult http://tfl.nu/fk5u
  Replies (14) Good night (995) Bad night (2340)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  It's a good cause. For your vagina.

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  (603): It's a good cause. For your vagina. http://tfl.nu/54ey
  Replies (5) Good night (988) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  Did she say Ok?

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  (512): Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA! (1-512): Did she say Ok? http://tfl.nu/jji5
  Replies (8) Good night (2244) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?

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  (865): You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams? http://tfl.nu/qz0j
  Replies (8) Good night (1197) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.

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  (989): Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert. http://tfl.nu/zbuo
  Replies (1) Good night (319) Bad night (225)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.

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  (845): It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair. http://tfl.nu/3qrj
  Replies (1) Good night (417) Bad night (303)

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