My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Dicks are not precious.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
