We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b