I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize