she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Farmville is her only friend.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Randomize
