He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
