I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
