the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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