Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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