physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
