You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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