So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
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And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
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If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm like, not good at living.
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