I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Randomize
