return my video game
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
