i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
