I am spending my child support on dildos
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
