The maid of honor just puked.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
