these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
