I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
