She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
