Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
