All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize