I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
