If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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