So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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