Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
We were destined to go to rehab together
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
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