Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
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becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize