would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize