So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
