Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
