This girl is more easily done than said...
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
