I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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