ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
