There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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