Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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