So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize
