I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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