The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Randomize