I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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