you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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