A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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