we're chasing vodka with high fives
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
