whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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