the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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