Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
