You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
