I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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