C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
