Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
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