I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize