So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
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I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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