My nipple is on Facebook.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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