Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
