I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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