No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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