Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
