Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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