Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
