Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize