Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
